Henry Ford dies and goes to Heaven. Upon arriving he immediately starts complaining about howinefficiently the place is being run. It gets so bad that God Himself intervenes, at which point Henry beginstaking God to task over His design of woman.
ÒYour invention is the most flawed work of engineering I eversaw. There is too much front endprotrusion, the rear end wobbles too much, it chatters at high speeds, and theprimary intake is too close to the exhaust.Ó
ÒAs may be, Mr. Ford,Ó says God, wryly amused, Òbut more men areriding My product than ever rode yours.Ó
Jokes often define a culture, and AmericaÕs culture is indisputablydominated by the automobile. Welove our cars. We love them somuch, in fact, that we often act as though they were alive.
But as the above joke points out, we seem to blur the distinctionsbetween our cars and our women, as so much of our speech bears out: ÔMan, IÕdlike to take her for a spinÕ, or ÔI bet sheÕs a great rideÕ, or, ÔsheÕs toohigh-maintenanceÕ. I even knew aguy who euphemistically referred to having sex with his wife as Ôchanging heroilÕ. It is a strange cultureindeed, where a womanÕs breasts are often called headlights and we put bras onour cars. This being the case, isthe following cautionary tale of Rod and Yvette so very farfetched?
ÒHonestly, Roddy, you spend more time with that car than you do withme!Ó
ÒNow, now, Ôvette,Ó I crooned as I slipped into bed beside her,cupping a wonderfully full double-d and nuzzling her ear, the scent of herflowery perfume mingling with the fabric softener from the crisp, clean sheets,Òyou know IÕd much rather be in here, rubbing oil on your hot body instead ofin the garage waxing JustineÕs, but she needs it, baby.Ó
ÒJustine needs it,Ó she grumbled huffily, doing a good impression ofmy California surfer dude accent, though not pushing my hand from her tit,which meant that she wasnÕt really angry. ÒI sometimes think,Ó she continued with a most becoming petulance, Òthatif I had a shiny paint job, you might pay as much attention to me.Ó
I silenced her with a kiss that she grudgingly accepted, which thenwent from 0 to 60 in 6.6 seconds. It is one of the things I love about my Ôvette—get her motorrunning and sheÕll go all night. She quickly got on top of me and slipped ÔLittle RodÕ inside her moistquim, having already taken care of that pesky foreplay nonsense while I was outbuffing my sweet JustineÕs rear end. She rode me with a perfect rhythm, always pulsing her meat-grinder pussywhenever she reached bottom-dead center, then sliding back upward, hummingsteadily all the while.
We finished at the same time—her doing, not mine—for myÔvette is highly responsive. Ifondled her heavy boobs while she softly whimpered, shaking in the throes ofher climax until she collapsed on top of me. We lay there like that, skin to skin, her luscious brunettelocks pooled in the joint of my neck and shoulder, until we both fell asleep.
I dreamt of her, as I so often did, of my beautiful Justine.
But under my hand the teal-colored vinyl began shifting, moving,
An elegant imitation hand reached out and began languidly strokingthe back of my neck. ÒYvette?Ó Iheard myself say in that stupid slow motion that so often happens in dreams,but at that moment my teal companion quickly threw her leg over me, straddlingme in my seat, and shoved a plasticky tongue down my throat.
ÒMmphÉ!Ó I protested, but I wasnÕt really fighting her.
She pressed herself into me as we fucked at ninety miles perhour—I was in seventh heaven. Being inside my vinyl Ôvette as we drove was the most intense experienceI had ever known: her slippery smooth cunt combined with the powerful rumblingof the GTOÕs turbocharged engine sending shockwaves through me, pushing myawareness into another dimension.
But some small part of me managed to stay tethered to my paradoxicaldream-reality, and I began to notice that something was wrong.
And just when I thought it couldnÕt get any more intense, theballoon-like walls of her latex pussy shifted into overdrive, rubbing myrock-hard meat in an indescribably delicious fashion. My muffled screams doubled, not out of fear, but due to theglorious feeling of my jizz percolating upward from my balls, an impendingsensation of release that almost distracted me from the sight of the giant rockformation that filled the whole of the windshield as we slammed into it.
I screamed in ecstasy, the shattering of glass and the twisting ofmetal giving way to a cataclysmic explosion as I erupted inside of my flesh andblood wife. YvetteÕs body wasstill lying atop mine, her fevered grunting filling my ears while her slipperypussy clamped firmly around my spasming prick, load after load of my creamy goospurting into her, until finally we both lay there, silent save for the soundsof our labored breathing.
After a bit she rose shakily up onto her elbows, my sweet Ôvette, andpressed her trembling lips to mine. ÒGodÉRodÉÓ she rasped, as though relearning speech, ÒyouÕre even a greatfuck when youÕre asleep.Ó Shenuzzled me softly, her long lashes fluttering against my cheek like butterflywings. ÒBy the way,Ó she cooed,ÒitÕs after midnight, birthday boy. Is there anything special your best girl can give you on the occasion ofthe big three-oh?Ó
ÒWell, actuallyÉÓ I hesitated, the image of her shiny skin stillfresh in my mind, ÒÉthere is one thingÉ.Ó
Epiphanies. You gottalove Ôem.
ÒAre you sure this is safe, Roddy?Ó
It wasnÕt the first time sheÕd asked that question, nor did I expectit would be the last time I would answer it. ÒYes, my love,Ó I replied in soothing tones, the half-maskrespirator I was wearing probably not helping me to sound convincing in theslightest, Òit is perfectly safe. You know that I would not endanger you, or your wondrous bosom for thatmatter, for love or money.Ó
I had to give Yvette credit; allowing me to spray paint her body formy enjoyment is about a hundred times further than most women would ever go fortheir men, but she has always had quite the adventurous streak.
But there were things she wouldnÕt do, however, the first being thatshe wasnÕt into group sex, or swinging, which was no skin off my nose as IÕmnot into sharing. She alsowouldnÕt do girls, a real bummer considering the first rate poon there is to behad in the University of Phoenix theatre department, where she works as ascenic artist/electrician/seamstress/utility infielder.
Those few small things aside, there was one thing that added jalape–ojelly to an already spicy relationship: her vacuum bed, an insidious device thatsheÕd bought off the Internets long before IÕd met her.
I would often sit there, admiring her lustrous form as it writhed impotentlywithin in its tube-steel frame like some shrink-wrapped sex toy, the overheadlight reflecting off the clear plastic giving her wonderful body an unbrokensheen. I loved watching her bigboobs swell outward as she took deep, gasping breaths, and her flat bellyrippling in her solitary ecstasy, her pleasure literally in my hands, for Iheld the remote control that powered the little machine buzzing away insideher. Cycle after cycle I wouldtake her up and bring her back down, driving her as close to the very edge as Icould, but never, per her request, allowing her to climax.
When she could take no more, which was usually signaled by frenziedscreaming coming from her breathing tube, I would release her from her rubberconfinement, whereupon she would invariably leap upon me, grunting like somepreternatural beast whose sole reason for being was to have my stiff johnsoninside her. We would spend therest of the night fucking like minks, which would often result in my shamblinginto work the next morning looking as though IÕd been run over by a semi-truck,and though my co-workers would rib me about it, their envy was unmistakable.
I think it was our vacuum bed antics that made me fall in love withher (although her stupendous boobage had certainly helped to seal the deal) andI asked her to marry me in only three short months. She accepted, the reason being that none of her previousparamours had shown such unerring skill at handling her body while encasedbetween the glossy latex sheets. No man could possibly want more, and I didnÕt, but that shiny tealvision of her was simply too erotic to let slip by, especially since I had themeans to do it.
She now stood there with the patience of a saint, buck-naked, in thecenter stall of our three-car garage, her head poking up through a poly sheet,the four corners of which had been clamped to four stanchions, also at neckheight. I didnÕt strictly have todo it this way, but I wanted to take my time airbrushing my ÔvetteÕs bodywithout her having to wear a respirator, and I also wanted to minimize thechances of her seeing what was going on and chickening out once I beganapplying the coating. It was apain, working under the poly sheet, which forced me to work either hunchedover, or on my knees—hell, it had been easier painting Justine.
All three garage doors were cracked to knee-level, with a few windowfans blowing outward to ensure good ventilation. I was glad that we were able to get such an early start, asthe day promised to be your typical early summer scorcher, and the relativecoolness of the morning would make for a trouble-free application.
Formula LP_16/2 is a very forgiving polymer; I designed it tobe. It is a Ôdry liquidÕ, verylike mercury, and when sprayed on it forms a fine, even coating upon whatevermaterial it is applied. IÕdretrieved a liter of it from chemical storage early this morning, lighting outfor AZ-TECH only minutes after the cock crowed, so to speak, my rapidlyrecovering prick already threatening to burn a hole in my chinos, imagining howmy Ôvette would look when we were done.
I airbrushed every last inch of YvetteÕs tight young body, save forthe bottoms of her feet, which could be done later if we chose to continue, andfor her nipples, masked off with perfectly circular tape cutouts, which I wouldtake care of once this basecoat was complete. Every other part of her body that I didnÕt want coated, suchas her sweet poon, rosebud, and belly button, was covered with K-Y jelly, thuspreventing adhesion, for the forgiving nature of my polymer, a double-chainelastomer consisting of striated rubber and carbon, allows it to fill cracksand crevices, forming a tough yet flexible layer of pseudo-skin that even myenraged cock wouldnÕt be able to penetrate.
With the body coat complete, I extracted a promise from my belovedthat she keep her eyes closed until the grand unveiling (as an artist Yvetteunderstands works-in-progress). Ithen pulled the tape that held together the poly paint booth under her chin,and got to work on her lovely face. She was makeup free and had applied astringent, thus ensuring a clean,paint-ready surface. The basecoattook only minutes to apply with a sponge, and was made easier by her havingtied her long hair in a ponytail and pinning it up. I did her full lips in a deep scarlet (my polymer takespigment exceedingly well), and her eyelids and nipples in a matching cotton candypink. I could not do hercheekbones or any complicated blending, as my polymer doesnÕt allow for thatunless you apply coat-on-coat.
I stepped back and looked at her, and I have to say she looked trulystrange, what with her unnatural uniformity of color, and the complete lack ofmoles, birthmarks, tan lines, or other distinctive features.
ÒGo Ôor it,Ó she replied, diligently avoiding pressing her lipstogether, and though her demeanor was casual I could sense hernervousness. She was placing allher trust in me, for I had not told her precisely what the outcome of thislittle experiment, her gift to me, would be, only that I had wanted to painther, using something that I had designed at work, and that I wanted to surpriseher.
I switched on the video camera, hoping to preserve this memory forposterity (and also in case she might not want to do it again), and turned onthe blow dryer. I started at herfeet, gently, for I didnÕt want to propel the coating off her body, thusleaving unsightly bare spots. ItwasnÕt that big of a concern, though, for although my polymer only adheres tothe skin by means of static electricity, it is extremely sticky to itself.
I played the blow dryer on her feet, her scarlet toenails alsoprotected with K-Y jelly, and gasped as the chemical reaction began.
ÒOhhÉÓ Yvette moaned, and I looked up to find that her parted lipswere now a distinct ÔOÕ shape, her magnificent bosom rising and fallingrapidly.
ÒYvetteÉ?Ó
ÒKeeÕ go-een, Rah-dee,Ó she replied, determinedly not disturbing herÔmakeupÕ. ÒIt Ôeels weird, Ôutnice.Ó
She was holding her arms slightly out from her sides, and judging bythe way her fingers trembled, her increased respirations, and the way hercoated breasts heaved, it looked to my eyes as though it felt rather more thanÔniceÕ. I continued up herfreshly-shaven legs, trying to keep from laughing giddily as they took on areflective sheen, indistinguishable from plastic.
ÒAaahÉ!Ó she moaned, and I could understand, at least academically,what she was feeling. As thepolymer heated up, it instantly began forming a striated mesh, not unlike pantyhose, though much, much smaller. This mesh was now contracting as it warmed, dragging literally millionsof tiny squares across her skin, tantalizing every nerve ending.
I continued up her thighs, marveling at their glossy beauty, and mydick almost exploded in my pants as I watched the globes of her fine ass hardenbefore my eyes, actually seeing my reflection in it! Upward I went, my own stifled moans competing with YvetteÕsas I played the blow dryer on her rapidly perfecting body.
Holding my breath, I began working on her breasts, my moansoutstripping hers as I watched her incredible funbags take on a lustrous sheen,her nipples harder than I could ever remember seeing them, and I almost droppedthe blow dryer from my shaking hands in my excitement.
ÒOhÉmyÉGod,Ó I whispered through dry lips.
ÒRoddyÉ?Ó she ventured, a little unnerved, no doubt, by my awedsilence. ÒIs itÉdo I look okay?Ó
ÒJesus, Ôvette, you have no idea,Ó I said, my voice a dry rasp.
ÒI feelÉwarm, and a little tinglyÉall over. Can IÉopen my eyes now?Ó
ÒNoÉdonÕt move. Give mea second. I want to do thisright.Ó I hobbled out of thegarage, my shaking legs barely able to support me, and made my way to thebedroom. A minute later I set thefull-length mirror that normally hangs on the back of our bedroom door againstone of the stanchions in front of her; I wanted to give her the fulleffect. ÒOkay,Ó I said, standing alittle off to one side, unable to keep the apprehension from my voice, becauseif she didnÕt like what IÕd done our relationship was going to take a hit, forI would always want to do this again, Òyou can open them.Ó
She did so, and the look upon her plasticized face waspriceless. She gazed at herreflective reflection for a full minute, not speaking, not making a sound, herbright blue eyes wide in astonishment. She then slowly, gradually, opened her mouth, as though it felt foreignto her, ÒOhÉmyÉGod,Ó she whispered, raising a shining arm to point at the imagein the mirror. ÒRoddyÉÓ shestarted, her breath coming fast, ÒI look soÉfake!
ÒYvetteÉ!Ó I cried, frightened. Panicking, I knelt down to take her in my arms, but she quickly grabbeda hold of me instead.
ÒGodÉunnh!ÉRodÉ!Óshe panted, grasping at my shoulders. ÒIÉ!Ó and there was no mistaking what was happening to her—she wascoming! She bucked and twitched inmy arms, gasping hoarsely, crying and shaking as she rode out her spontaneousclimax. Clutching me as she was,my forearms pinned to her sides, I was robbed of the opportunity of joining in,of touching her shiny new body, and I certainly wasnÕt about to do anythingthat might disturb what appeared to be an orgasm of biblical proportions.
But as I gloried in her heady fragrance, her hands quickly moved upand grabbed my head, and scant seconds later found her tongue sliding into mymouth. The feel of her lips uponmine was truly magical; they were so smooth, so unreal!
ÒOhhÉÓ I moaned, as my hands, freed from their constriction, found myÔvetteÕs waist. Her skin felt likerubber, almost like she was wearing a wetsuit. I moved my hands up and down her body while her tonguecontinued assaulting my mouth. Itjust felt so wonderful I couldnÕt believe it. I wasted no time sliding my hands up to her fantastic boobs,the warmth of her artificial skin more erotic than any sensation I had everknown. Her heavy juggs feltsomehow lighter in my hands, which the reasoning though rapidly dwindling partof my mind told me was due to the mesh contracting as the weight shifted on herstructure.
ÒOh, God, yes, Rod!Ó she panted. ÒSqueeze my big fake tits!Ó
They did feel fake; like warm flesh-colored water balloons, and herhard rubbery nipples were the exact consistency of pencil erasers.
ÒOh, R-Rod,Ó she moaned, pulling away from me, her voice tremulous,Òplease fuck me! I need your dickin me now!Ó
She was crying, but her tears were not born of sadness, or even joy,but rather of a beatific ecstasy, and I knelt there, transfixed, watching asher tears slid down her shining cheeks like drops of water down a showertile. I picked her up off thegarage floor, her long legs wrapping themselves around my waist.
Considering all that she had done for me this morning, I figured itwould be the least I could do. I quicklyturned and laid my rubberized bride on the back end of my bitchinÕ wheels, ontomy Justine. I shucked my pants tothe floor and lost no time in shoving my raging prick into her, moaning loudlyas her hot cunt swallowed my length whole. Though her body felt fake, her pussy felt all too real, andI dimly noted as I repeatedly rammed my dick into her, that her body didnÕtslide or move up and down at all, her latex skin gripping the trunk of my carlike a surgical glove.
I held off as long as I could, which wasnÕt very, but what I lackedin porn star control I made up for in exuberance, pistoning in and out of mysweet ÔvetteÕs thoroughly lubricated cunt so fervently I thought we mightspontaneously combust.
When it was over I lay in her embrace, my left hand stroking hersmooth rear end, my breathing just barely below the level at which paramedicswill slap an oxygen mask on you. ÒAreÉyouÉokayÉÔvette?Ó I managed to gasp. I was a little worried that I might have hurt her, so savagehad been my thrusts, as well as feeling a little guilty for having treated herso selfishly.
ÒAreÉyouÉkiddingÉ?Ó she gasped back, rubbery fingers stroking theback of my neck. ÒRoddyÉlook atme. IÕm notÉokay.
And since I make it a habit never to contradict a woman into whomIÕve just emptied my balls, I kept my dissenting opinion to myself, happilythinking that sheÕd overshot beautiful by a country mile—she was fuckingboss!
Three hours later found us lying on our bed, my vinyl fucktoy andme. We had fucked in literallyevery room in the house, including the linen closet—twice.
But my birthday present was not terribly interested in resting; theidea of discovering what she had become was of far greater importance.
I chuckled weakly at her wide-eyed amazement, watching her play withher big rubbery tits. It was thestrangest damn thing, watching her face. When people talk, or listen, their faces crack, flex, and wrinkle.
ÒHuh?Ó
ÒDo you remember, a few months ago, that week when my mood wasdecidedly dim?Ó
She smiled crookedly. ÒIshould hope I do. My jaw was sosore from adjusting your attitude five times a day I thought IÕd never be ableto close my mouth again.Ó
I smiled back, blissfully recalling the selflessly given blowjobs IÕdreceived during that awful week. Fuckups in the chem lab are usually no big deal—inschool—but making a mistake in the corporate world can cost you your joband damage your rep for years to come. All that week I was on tenterhooks, wondering if the high mucky-muckswere actually going to adios me over twenty-thousand bucks worth of uselesspolymer, a very real possibility considering the state of the economy andAZ-TECHÕs bottom line. Thankfullythey didnÕt sack me, but I was told in no uncertain terms that any moredumbshit mistakes would result in me being walked out the front door, verylikely with a few boot prints on my butt for good measure.
She turned back to the mirror, my smile more than enough answer forher. ÒGod, Rod, you are just themost amazing man. Even when youscrew up, you score big time.Ó Shecontinued fondling her boobs, running her hands up and down her flatbelly. ÒItÕs just so weird.
I explained how what was on her skin was neither a coating nor apaint, but rather a chemical mesh thirty times denser than panty hose, andcorrespondingly stronger.
ÒIs that why they feel so light?Ó She began jumping up and down, watching her breasts as theybounced stiffly. ÒIt feels likeIÕm wearing an invisible bra.Ó
ÒThatÕs a pretty apt analogy,Ó I replied, almost obscenely content,Òbut itÕs more like a full-body corset. Every part of your delicious body is being supported by the mesh: yourbutt, your boobs—Ó
ÒBut why do I shine so?Ó
ÒWhen heated, the elastomer strands flatten out, providing greatersurface area and creating a shell not unlike chain mail, though not nearly sotough. When light hits the strandsit ricochets everywhere, giving you a luminescent glow.Ó
ÒA shell? But what aboutmy skin? WonÕt it suffocate?
ÒGoldfinger?Ó Iprompted, having expected the question. We both knew the Connery Ô007ÕsÕ backwards and forwards.
ÒMm-hm,Ó she replied, sliding her hands over her glossy hips,reveling in the feeling despite the seriousness of her inquiry.
Ò—ÔItÕs all right so long as you leave a small bare patch atthe base of the spine to allow the skin to breathe,ÕÓ
ÒLike a beach ball with boobs.Ó
ÒSeriously, sweetieÉÓ I pressed, but her flippant answer appeared tohave pumped some life back into Little Rod.
ÒI feel great. A bitwarm, but not uncomfortably so.Ó
ÒGood,Ó I replied, pleased that this experimental finish wasnÕt doingany harm to my bitchinÕ Ôvette. ÒCome here, baby. Let melook at you.Ó She undulated overto me, not out of a desire to fulfill my request, but rather because she likedmoving so much. With everymovement of her unreal body she could feel the mesh sliding ever so slightlyover her skin, a constant reminder her of her newly synthetic state.
ÒMmmÉ.Ó she moaned, biting her lip. ÒGod, Rod, this stuff is such a turn on.
ÒOh, I am a rich man, baby,Ó I sighed. ÒIÕve got you.Ó I pulled her over on top of me so that she lay across my lap, hershining butt in the air. I slid myhands over her glossy fundament, her moans helping Little Rod, trapped as hewas, to attain his full height. Herskin was just so amazing, the rubbery feel to it. But it wasnÕt just that. The polymer shell encasing my lovely bride really did givethe illusion that she was made of plastic. Whenever she moved, it constricted or stretched toaccommodate her, without so much as a wrinkle or disturbance.
I grinned to myself as an idea formed. I reached over and opened the drawer of my nightstand, andpulled out the mini flashlight I keep there for emergencies.
She oohÕed upon seeing the light reflected off of her and onto theheadboard behind me, and this time I actually did giggle as she began playingher fingers in front of the beam, sending shafts of light in all directions,like a living disco ball. ÒGod,that is so cool, Rod,Ó she whispered in amazement, Òbut how could this honestlybe considered a failure?Ó
ÒI didnÕt design it to be fetish wear, my radiant bride.
ÒAnd it doesnÕt?Ó
ÒNo, it does—for about three days. LetÕs face it, people donÕt want to buy a leather protectantto protect their leather protectant.Ó
ÒOh, no, Roddy,Ó she said with a gasp, getting up onto one elbow, hervoice exhibiting her shock more than her polymer-covered face could, Òyou meanmy beautiful body is only going to last for three days?Ó
I chuckled, warmly pleased that my bitchinÕ Ôvette was digging thisevery bit as much as I was. ÒYup,pretty much. You can extend thelife of your finish, though, with routine maintenance.Ó
She perked up. ÒMaintenance?Ó
ÒSure. With proper careyour showroom finish can last for weeks, months even.Ó
ÒAnd youÕre going to tell me how, arenÕt you, big boy?Ó she pressed,her voice determined, one delicately arched eyebrow raised as she reachedsmoothly downward and found Little Rod and began lightly caressing him.
ÒOh, I suppose I could,Ó I mock-sighed, Òbut seeing as itÕs mybirthday do I really want to spend it dealing with such mundane matters?Ó
She gave me a crooked smile, its meaning so obvious that even herpolymer-coated exterior couldnÕt conceal it, and began inching her way down mybody, her destination a fait accompli. My cock disappeared between her smooth, scarlet lips without theslightest hesitation, its length completely swallowed on the first downstroke.
ÒTalk,Ó she said simply, my glistening dick standing upright againsther cheek, and it struck me a little funny how fake she looked in comparison toit. She rose up a bit and beganlicking the flared head like an ice-cream cone; a move she knew drove mecrazy. ÒWellÉ?Ó she prompted,licking her lips.
ÒWell,Ó I grunted, for she had returned to the licking technique,Òlicking your lips is probablyÉ the worst thing you can do.
She raised her head up off my straining dick, her blue eyeswide. ÒWhat, you mean I canÕt blowyou?Ó She looked distressed, asnear as I could tell through her polymer mask, fearful that she would have tomake a choice she would rather not make.
ÒNo, no,Ó I said, shaking my head, Òyou can—and better
She bounded quickly up from the bed, my stiff meat audibly slappingmy stomach, and dashed to her dresser, returning scant moments later, heralready glossy lips shining all the more. Little Rod disappeared again, but this time his passage down YvetteÕsthroat was greatly eased by the additional coat of wax, so much so that I foundmyself actually ripping up the sheets a bit. As nice as her polymer-coated lips had felt on my cock, andthey surely had felt nice, her freshly-waxed, slippery smooth lips quicklyturned ÔniceÕ into mind-shattering ecstasy.
ÒMmmÉ?Ó she prompted, tacitly reminding me that there was supposed tobe some give and take here.
ÒOh, yeahÉsorry,Ó I gasped. ÒWhere were we?Ó
ÒMmmÉmaintenance,Ó she hummed, causing my toes to curl up well beyondwhat should be considered healthy.
ÒOh, yeah,Ó I repeated. ÒWell, for starters, a good washingÉevery dayÉwill help.Ó
ÒMmm-hmm?Ó she continued, inviting me to carry on.
ÒPlusÉa good coating of moisturizer will also help.
ÒOh,Ó she said simply, releasing my crazed dick from her mouth with awet ÔpopÕ. ÒYou mean like this?Ó
ÒIs there anything else, Roddy?Ó she whispered, gently working mybeleaguered prick into a near-spitting frenzy.
ÒNotÉthat IÉcan think of,Ó I panted, my balls on the very edge ofgoing thermonuclear.
ÒExcellent,Ó she said, her blue eyes gleaming with a mischievouslight. ÒI love you, Rod.Ó
ÒGoodness, Roddy,Ó she giggled, once my impression of Mount Vesuviushad ceased, her lithe plastic arms held up and away from her, Òlook at me.
ÒNot to worryÉÔvette,Ó I said, gasping only slightly now that IÕdrecovered somewhat. ÒJust give meone minute.Ó I slid sideways offthe bed, narrowly avoiding smearing some of that shit on me, and made for thebathroom. She was still in thatsame position when I returned half a minute later, and laughed with delight asI sponged my scum from her glistening body as easily as if sheÕd been fuckingScotchgarded.
Though we are both good cooks we ordered in, since neither one of usfelt it would be possible to toast a bagel without burning the house down.
ÒWhy are my nipples still hard?Ó she asked, sponging a piece offettuccine off of her left tit—she was still getting used to the polymermesh covering her body and had had to relearn the art of eating, which was partof the reason she was still nude (the other part being that she loved her newbody too much to allow it to be covered up).
ÒBecause they were hard when I sprayed on the polymer.
ÒAnd what will cause the most damage to my finish?Ó
ÒSalts, alkaline cleaning solutions, and strong acids,Ó I replied,Òbut it is the ever-present ones you should worry about, vinegar and lemonjuice, for example. If you wantedto remove the polymer from your body completely, spraying yourself off withwhite vinegar would do it pretty quickly, although you might smell like a saladfor several hours.Ó
ÒIs itÉharmful?Ó I hadbeen waiting the longest for this question.
ÒNot at all, my love,Ó I answered in my most reassuring tones.
She smiled, obviously pleased that there were no risks associated tosomething she so very much enjoyed. ÒBut what do I do if it gets damaged, or starts to deteriorate?Ó
ÒPut on more. It takesmultiple coats very well and patches seamlessly. I brought home a liter of the stuff; four times more than weused. And if, and when, it doesbegin to deteriorate, simply let it do so. ItÕll peel off like dead skin after a bad sunburn.
ÒÔStart againÉÕÓ she repeated, looking over my shoulder at her imagereflected in the antique sideboard behind me. She had been doing this a lot during the course of ourdinner, consistently checking out her image in the mirror, for which Icertainly could not blame her; I couldnÕt take my eyes off of her either.
Finally she said, ÒRoddy, will you excuse me?
ÒYvette?Ó I heard therefrigerator door open and close, and she strode back out into the dining roomand on into the hallway, a bottle of lemon juice in her hand.
ÒBaby?Ó I said to the closed door. ÒIs everything all right?Ó
ÒIÕm fine, Roddy,Ó came her slightly muffled voice.
I snorted silently. Mostmen might be a little miffed, having to do the dishes on their birthday, but Ifound myself inordinately pleased, wondering what the rest of my Sunday eveningbeheld.
By the time I had cleared everything away, Yvette had vacated thebathroom, and I found a hastily scrawled note taped to the door to the garagetelling me to Ôwatch some porn orsomethingÕ. A thoughtfulsuggestion, I had to admit, but truly it was the last thing I needed since Iwas pretty much living a porn movie right now. I opted instead to pop in ÔDie HardÕ, even though it wasnowhere near Christmas, and settled down in my recliner to wait for mybride. It was at that point in thefilm where Bruce Willis says ÔfuckÕfor about the four-hundredth time, that I felt a pair of rubber hands cover myeyes.
ÒClose your eyes, sweetie,Ó she said, her voice husky, definitelyturned on.
ÒAll right,Ó I replied, no less excited than she, anxiously wonderingwhat she might have done in so short a time. ÒTheyÕre closed.Ó
Her hands slid away from my face, and I sensed by the shifting oflight that she was moving around to face me, preparing for the grandunveiling. She paused the movieand said, her voice nervous, ÒOkay, you can open them.Ó
I did, and counted myself lucky that I was still sitting down.
Her eyebrows, which I had taken such care to avoid when sponging onthe polymer, were gone—shaved off!—so that her forehead was now a completely smooth and unbrokensurface, with thin, high arches painted in their place.
She had also added a blush coat to her cheekbones so that they nowlooked incredibly high, much more prominent with the addition of a rose hue,and shadows added underneath brought them out that much more.
And lastly there were her nipples, still quite erect, stillunnaturally round. They were thesame color as her lips now, though not quite so intense.
She had outdone herself, had outdone me, looking even moreintoxicating than she had in my dream. She had, in less than an hour, transformed herself from an animatedmannequin into a life-sized Barbie doll. I stood there; acutely conscious of my breathing, or rather the lack ofit, of the suffocating silence of the room, and of how our air conditioning wasobviously failing to keep up with the summer heat.
My unblushing bride smiled, obviously pleased by my stunnedexpression, and sidled up to me, placing her imitation hand upon my pulsingmeat. ÒI was going to ask you whatyou thought, but this,Ó shesaid lowly, giving Little Rod a squeeze for good measure, Ôtells me all I needto know. God, Rod,Ó she giggled,Òyou look as though youÕre about to go supernova.Ó
ÒYou have no idea, baby,Ó I replied, actually panting, gazing at herreflective cheek, marveling at its smoothness, its permanence.
ÒWell, letÕs cool you off then,Ó she said, as her hand slid upwardand began unbuckling my belt. Shegot my pants off with only moderate difficulty, the obstruction caused by myrampant prick slowing her down just a bit. When I was naked I pulled her close and looked into herradiant face, her bright blue eyes the only things about her that betrayed herhumanity. I leaned in to kissthose luscious lips—and missed.
ÒNuh-uh, big boy,Ó she teased, turning away and pulling me onward bymy throbbing dick. ÒItÕs a hotnight, and I think we can both do with a swim.Ó
I laughed lightly, allowing myself to be tugged along by my shortleash out to our patio, raptly watching the shining globes of her ass the wholeway.
I graciously helped her up onto the diving board, the dying rays ofthe Arizona sun reflecting off of her unblemished body, creating a once in alifetime masterpiece. ÒOh, God,hold it right there, baby,Ó I cried, awestruck. ÒLet me get the camera.Ó I dashed back through the house, my boner flapping aboutcomically, and grabbed my cell phone. She was still there when I returned, waiting patiently, looking like aflesh-colored statue. I snapped adozen pictures of her in various cheesecake poses, our adobe privacy wallsmaking a splendid backdrop.
ÒThank you, my beloved odalisque,Ó I said, putting the phone on thetile-topped patio table, still marveling in her beauty, Òyou are free.Ó
ÒGee, thanks, o engorged one,Ó she said sarcastically, then steppedforward and bounced hard on the edge of the diving board, sending her body highinto the air, the setting sun flashing majestically upon her as she executed aperfect forward pike. She slicedinto the water with a bizarre silence, her streamlined body making just thetiniest splash.
ÒRoddy!Ó
If I hadnÕt seen it with my own eyes I wouldnÕt have believedit. She had been under the waterfor barely more than a second when she came bobbing back up to the surface, shootingupward completely out of the water like a cork and coming to rest atop thewater, drops sheeting off of her, floating on her back.
ÒR-RoddyÉ?Ó she repeated, her voice quavering.
I couldnÕt help it, bursting into raucous laughter as I watched herbob upon the water like a childÕs sailboat, her wide eyes expressing her risingpanic. I jumped in and took her bythe hand and floated her to the shallow end of the pool, alternately gigglingand snorting in maniacal glee.
ÒRoddyÉ?Ó she whined, still in shock over her unexpected expulsionfrom the water not to mention the sudden realization that treading water hadjust become a thing of the past.
ÒAirÉbubbles,Ó I managed to gasp, letting go of her and allowing herto come about. ÒAir bubbles!Ó
ÒAirÉ?Ó she repeated dumbly.
ÒOh, yes, my buoyant bride,Ó I replied, grasping her gently by herpretty foot and pushing her away, then grabbing it again just before gettingout of reach and pulling her back to me. ÒThe mesh covers approximately seventy-five percent of your skin; therest is just empty squares, millions of tiny grids in which there are trappedair bubbles, making you, in essence, a fucking personal flotation device!Ó
She laughed at my crazed exuberance. ÒOh, Rod, this is just too much,Ó she said breathlessly,dipping her hands into the water and pushing them forward like oars, sendingher bobbing body back toward the deep end. ÒHow long will I stay afloat?Ó
ÒLetÕs test it, shall we?Ó I dove for her, grasping her slim ankles and pulling her yelping bodyquickly into me, propelling myself forward and sliding on top of her.
ÒOh m-my God, Rod,Ó she cried beneath me, holding me tight, her voicetremulous again, euphoric, Òthis isÉsoÉÓ
ÒThat it is, my wonderful waterproof woman, that it certainlyis.Ó Perfectly at home upon mybusty pool toy I kissed her, enjoying the feel of her, and the feeling ofweightlessness she imparted. Supporting my weight was not a problem for her as there was only waterbeneath her, therefore no crushing. I lay upon her for what seemed an endless time, a timeless time.
She cried out as she came, not once, but repeatedly, my every thrusteliciting an ecstatic howl that IÕm sure our neighbors probably thought werecoyotes.
And afterwards, as we lay there floating upon the still water, thefull moon reflected in the shining tit next to the one upon which my headrested, I drifted gently off into a sleep more peaceful than any I had everknown.